


Knock Knock

by SonjaJade



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Coitus Interruptus, F/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 18:27:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10471281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonjaJade/pseuds/SonjaJade
Summary: Pride’s a cock block- and he enjoys every moment of it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> FMA Fic Contest Prompt: I don’t want to kill you, but I will if I have to

Most of the time, playing the role of Selim Bradley was easy: smile big, laugh childishly, find wonder in everything, and pretend to enjoy children’s books.  Simple.  But in order to really make the reality of being a young child hit home, there were times he had to get into mischief, throw a tantrum, or do something to embarrass his ‘parents’. 

The latter was Pride’s favorite part.

And coming up with the perfect way to accomplish his goal of being a young boy just being a boy _and_ the perfect way to irritate his youngest brother Wrath always set Pride in a good mood.

* * *

“Darling?” Mrs. Bradley asked quietly.

The Führer looked up from the newspaper page.  He knew that tone of voice…  “Yes, dear?”

Her hands fretted with the afghan she was crocheting and her cheeks pinked.  “Selim has long since gone to bed… and I was hoping that we might… _retire early_.”

Homunculus or not, Wrath loved his wife.  If she said in a very roundabout way that she _desired him_ , then he would see her physical needs met and exceeded.  He would touch her and kiss her and fill her to burst if that’s what she wanted.  And when he smiled at her, agreeing that it would be good to go to bed early, her blush deepened and her eyes sparkled eagerly.  Yes, he loved her… even if one day his actions would bring her death.

They stood to go to their bedroom, and his hand fell to the small of her back as he guided her through the halls of the mansion.  Eventually that hand slipped to her backside to give a gentle pat and she tittered quietly.  Wrath smiled.  She really was the only woman he gave a damn about.

She opened the door to their bedroom and they stepped inside, and from there it didn’t take long for the demure woman to start pulling at her husband’s clothes.  Hushed whispers and the sound of clothing falling to the floor filled the room, and then they crawled into bed and wrapped themselves around each other.  When Wrath slid home and she called his name desperately, he had fleeting second thoughts about Father’s plan…

And then there came a frantic knock at the door.

* * *

Pride was laughing hysterically inside.  It was Tuesday night, typically the day of the week that his ‘parents’ chose to sate their passions for one another.  And because the two of them spent so much time together, Pride knew Wrath was a human infused with a philosopher’s stone and a special case apart from his other siblings.  Wrath was more inclined to humanistic wants and needs than any of the others, and if Wrath didn’t get his weekly piece of ass, he was likely to be a sour-puss grump until he could finally get it.

Pride knew his ‘mother’ thrived off their weekly liaisons as much as Wrath did, and like him, he genuinely adored the woman…  But if she had to suffer a little in order for Pride to play the part of Selim accurately, then so be it.  In fact, it would work to her benefit eventually.  Wrath would be so overcome by his lust that he would surprise her by taking her down to the laundry room and royally reaming her into next month.

Besides, every parent had been interrupted by a child at some point.

He knocked on the door desperately, forcing himself to cry.  “Mommy!  Mommy, I had a nightmare!”

On the other side of the door, he could hear Wrath cursing and his ‘mother’ trying to shush him.  Pride smiled through his fake tears, listening as Wrath begged for just five minutes from his wife, to which she firmly denied him.  “Just a minute, sweetie!” she called, the sound of their bed creaking as she got out of it and Wrath flopping angrily over to his side.

When she opened the door, her hair was out of place and her cheeks were flushed.  And behind her, he could see Wrath glaring at him.

She bent down and hugged him.  “It’s alright, Selim.  It was only a bad dream!  You’re awake now, and nothing from that dream can hurt you.”  She smoothed his hair as she hugged him, and Pride smiled wickedly at Wrath, who only glared back.

“I’m scared, Mommy!  Can I sleep with you and Dad?”

“Now son,” Wrath began as gently as he could, “you’re too big to be afraid of _shadows_ in your room.”

“But it was a _super scary_ dream, Dad!” Pride whined.  “There were monsters and beasts and dragons!”  Pride buried his face in Mrs. Bradley’s shoulder and cried more crocodile tears.

“What’s the harm in letting him stay just tonight, dear?” she asked as she tucked her arm under Pride’s bottom and carried him over to the bed.

“Vera, you’ll turn him into a spineless coward if you continue to indulge him,” Wrath growled. 

“For goodness sake, he’s only eight years old!  There’s plenty time for him to grow into a man!”  She pulled the covers back a little further and laid Pride down between her and the Führer.  “Now then.  Let’s all get some rest.”  She kissed Pride’s forehead and snuggled into her pillow, closed her eyes, and fell asleep quickly.

Wrath and Pride on the other hand turned to glare at each other in the dark.

“You’re a spoiled brat,” Wrath hissed.

“And you’re a predictable old man,” Pride retorted with a smirk.

“I could kill you, right here in this bed, right now.”

Pride’s shadows slithered out from his small body, binding Wrath’s whole body with razor sharp ribbons.  “I think you’d better remember who you’re talking to, _Dad_.”  The coils of black at Wrath’s throat squeezed tighter.  “Remember your place, or I _will_ take you out.”

“Father… will kill… you…”

Pride smiled devilishly.  “If it means getting you out of the way, little brother, it could be _very_ worth it.”

Wrath gasped and choked, and when he stopped struggling, Pride released him, then watched the red crackle of power rip through his dead body, bringing him back to life and diminishing the power of his philosopher’s stone just a little.  “We’ll settle this later,” Wrath whispered hoarsely.  “I don’t want to wake Vera.”

“I don’t either,” Pride agreed.  They rolled away from each other, back to back, and joined Vera in sleep.  Some things could wait til in the morning.


End file.
